Assalamu alaikum, dear brothers and sisters.

Im a 20 years old female born and raised in Germany with Pakistani roots. So my problem is that, I got engaged 3 years ago to my cousin in Pakistan. Even though I didn’t want it at this time. Because I was just there to attend a wedding.

It’s been almost 3 years but I don’t have an understanding with my fiance and also no respect for him. Personally I don’t have a problem if my parents would arranged my marriage or chose a guy for me.

But the only thing I wanted was an educated man which he is not. He also didn’t have the looks so I am not attracted to him. Education wise I will be in sha allah doing my Bachelors in laws. Because my parents told me from day one that education is very important. But choose a guy for me who is failed 10th class.

I don’t have the courage to talk with my father about it, because alhamdulillah he fulfilled every wish and dream from me. But I can’t talk with my mom either because I have the feeling she doesn’t understand me. Everytime when I try to explain why I didn’t want to marry him she does emotional black mail and says you dad did everything for you.

I think the reason is that he ist the son from my moms brother and the son from my dads sister. I never thought in my life my parents would do this to me. Once I told them I don’t want him because he is not educated enough my father told me. I should stop educate myself although he wanted it. It was his dream. They also told me once if I don’t marry their nephew.

I should find myself a guy and live on my own.
Jazakallah Khair